Maybe It's a Sign

I pulled a muscle in my back on Saturday while putting on my bra. You may recall a similar incident a while ago. These two events have led me to the conclusion that I should stop wearing undergarments.


I went to the chiropractor yesterday to see what could be done and he beat me up pretty good. Is it weird that I really liked it? He practices something called Active Release Therapy which hurts like Hell but seems to have been extremely effective. Not to mention the tremendous rush I got from all those endorphines--nature's way of getting you high to take your mind off of excruciating pain.

He also gave me a crap-load of really strenuous excercises which looked misleadingly easy when he did them. These are meant to strengthen my core and will replace the damaging crunches I've been religiously doing at the gym which he explained have been worse than useless, even contributing to my problem by weakening the tendons that hold my spine together. Isn't nice to know your efforts to get in better shape are actually causing more harm than good?

This would all be so much easier if I could just exchange this lemon of a body for a new one. If anyone is deserving of a "cash for clunkers" incentive it's me.