After the Tone, Please Record Your Message.

Voice mail is a necessary evil in our lives--we all hate it, but ironically we all have it. In my job, voice mail is pretty much the only way for people to communicate with me and one of my pet peeves is bad voice mail etiquette. So, here is a handy list of "Voice Mail No-No's" for the workplace. Of course, none of us have ever made any of these mistakes, but it's a handy reference just in case ;)

1. Don't rush through your call back number: There's nothing more annoying than listening to a long, rambling voice mail liberally peppered with "um's" and "uh's" and then at the end having the caller whip through their call back number so quickly and unintelligibly that you have to play it back 4 or 5 times to figure out what they've said. Please say it slowly, clearly and (preferably) twice.

2. Keep it brief: It drives me crazy when I have 3 messages in my voice mail box and I'm being told it's full. I don't need your life story, just who you are, why I should care and how I can get back to you if I am so inclined. Period. However, the flip side of this coin brings me to...

3. Give me what I need: Who are you? Why are you calling me? Why should I call you back if I have no idea who you are or why you are calling me? Give me a compelling reason to return your call or I might "accidentally" delete your message.

4. When playing phone tag, actually respond to the question I asked you on your voice mail: I left a message for a guy the other day and when he called me back and left me a message it was obvious he either a) hadn't listened to my message past "Hi, this is Kendall returning your call" or b) doesn't understand spoken English. When you call me back, know why you're calling me back so I don't have to call you and leave you another message you're not going to listen to. Please.

If we all adhere to these simple rules voice mail will magically become more tolerable and this will eventually lead to world peace. I'm convinced of it.

My, What a Long Sword You Have!

He's shiny, he's bald and he's naked. That's right, folks--he's Oscar and tonight he'll go home with the lucky men and women chosen by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

I don't generally get very excited by the Oscar's. I usually tune in for the first hour or so, hoping to see some train wrecks of the fashion and acceptance speech persuasion. This year is different; I'm watching to see the fate of my Canadian Girls--Sara Polley and Ellen Page.

Although, I'll be really disappointed if there aren't any spectacles...

Something tells me I'll come away satisfied.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Well, my Honey has left to return to the land of Botox, breast implants and Governor Arnold. The visit was sweet yet brief, much of our time together spent visiting with friends and family and getting my fried computer back on its feet. It was reassuring but also strange having that familiar warm body back in the bed--it's amazing how quickly one gets used to sleeping alone. The cat definitely missed his Daddy--he very much enjoyed their snuggle time and their play time together--but he seems just as happy to have my undivided attention again.

The visit was a blessing and a curse--it was wonderful seeing him again and spending time together, but now I'm having the same sad feelings I had in January when he first left. I'll console myself with thoughts of the fun we'll have during my visit there in April.

Don't you think San Francisco in spring would be wonderful?

Best Valentine's Day Ever!

My Honey always does something really romantic, creative and unexpected for Valentine's Day. I have often regaled (bored) friends and family with tales of "Valentine's Days Past." Well folks, this one goes down in the annals of Valentine history:


*********
Flight: 1 Round-Trip Ticket
All flight times are local to each city.
______________________________

________________________


Fri, Feb 15, 2008
San Francisco International Airport, (SFO) to Buffalo, (BUF)

Flight: United Flight 914 (on Boeing 767-300)
Depart: 07:50 AM, San Francisco, CA (SFO)
Arrive: 03:53 PM, Washington, DC (IAD)

Class of service: Economy

1 Stop - change planes in Washington, (IAD)
Connection Time:

Flight: United Flight 7833 (on Embraer RJ145 Amazon)
Depart: 05:25 PM, Washington, DC (IAD)
Arrive: 06:41 PM, Buffalo, NY (BUF)

Class of service: Economy

Total Travel Time: 10 hrs 51 mins
______________________________________________________


Mon, Feb 18, 2008
Buffalo, (BUF) to San Francisco International Airport, (SFO)

Flight: United Flight 7775 (on Embraer RJ145 Amazon)
Depart: 07:35 PM, Buffalo, NY (BUF)
Arrive: 08:46 PM, Washington, DC (IAD)

Class of service: Economy
1 Stop - change planes in Washington, (IAD)
Connection Time:

Flight: United Flight 225 (on Airbus A320-100/200)
Depart: 09:45 PM, Washington, DC (IAD)
Arrive: 12:44 AM, Arrive next day San Francisco, CA (SFO)

Class of service: Economy
Total Travel Time: 5 hrs 9 mins

_______________________________________________________


I've got my Honey home for 3 days! Did I mention I'm a lucky gal?

To All The Boys I've Loved Before

I know the guys have been feeling left out ever since I got all mushy for "my girls", so what better time to show them love than on Valentine's Day?

I have had the great pleasure of knowing some of the most self-actualized men on the planet. They are without exception caring, intelligent, thoughtful, respectful (most of the time...) and comfortable in their own skin. They aren't threatened by the strong women in their lives--and believe me, there are some strong women! They have enriched my life and the lives of others, showing us how to be true to ourselves, strong and independent-minded, but still open to new ideas and considerate of others.

I want to thank all you guys for the unconditional love and acceptance you've given me over the years--even when I might not have deserved it or returned it. I'm a lucky gal!

Canine Eugenics

My guilty pleasure for the last couple of days has been watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on TV (three weeks ago it was the Barrett-Jackson Car Auction--I know, I'm weird). Now I'm not really a dog person, but I'm fascinated by the variety of physical traits on display and the overwhelming number of different breeds. It's hard to believe that the majority of these dogs descended from something that looked a lot like a wolf!

I really think selective breeding has gone a little overboard for some varieties. Apparently English Bulldogs can't even whelp naturally anymore--the puppies' heads are too big so for safety they usually deliver by C-section! And what about the bizarre grooming on some breeds--who can take a Poodle seriously with that haircut?

While I do enjoy the sporting dogs, my favorites are the toy breeds--there's something to be said for cute and useless (lucky me). Although I suppose you could use a Pekingese as a footstool...maybe not so useless after all!

I'm RICH, I say! RICH!

Let me preface this post by saying I may be lucky in a lot of things, but lotteries are not among them. I can't say I never win anything (as you will soon learn, that is clearly not the case) but I can say my winnings are few and far between. For the longest time the highlight of my life was winning a colouring contest at age 4--and by winning I mean having lunch with Ronald McDonald along with 20 or so other "lucky" children.

However my luck is changing, baby, 'cause yesterday I won 50 bucks! Well, not exactly--I won a $50 gift card for the local mall. Same difference. And I didn't have to colour anything to get it! Sadly, the powers-that-be want photographic documentation of the happy occasion, but I'm not going to let that dampen my enthusiasm.

Let the shopping begin!

Snow Day, Part Two

After spending 10 to 15 minutes removing ice and snow from my car and another 5 minutes trying to move it more than 1 foot, I determined I was thoroughly stuck. So off to work on foot I go, having to choose between risking life and limb dodging cars while I walk on the street or slogging though knee-high snow drifts on the uncleared sidewalk. When I finally did encounter a clear section, I managed to slip and fall on some ice. And I don't mean slip-and-fall-on-one-knee kinda fall. No this was a both-feet-out-from-underneath-me-falling-heavily-on-my-left-side kinda fall.

So, Honey, I did walk to work today--are you happy now?*


*sorry for the snarkiness--love you! :)

Snow Day

Remember the elation you felt as a kid when when you woke up on a school day and saw a raging blizzard outside? You just knew it was gonna be a snow day. Woo hoo! Snow day! Well, I got to experience a little taste of that today when I got an email at work telling me that a "business decision" had been made to send everyone home early due to bad weather.

That wonderful feeling lasted right up until the moment I stepped outside.

WARNING: This one's sappy!

There's something you get as a woman from relationships with other women that you just can't get from your relationships with men. Don't get me wrong--I love the men in my life! They're all wonderful and I wouldn't trade a single one. But a close female friend can almost seem to read your mind--knowing what you mean when you are having trouble expressing it, knowing what to say when you really need to hear it.

I'm fortunate enough to have more than one of these kinds of relationships when some women never get to experience even one. Each relationship brings its own unique quality and experience to my life and I am richer for it. I have drawn upon the well of their knowledge and believe me, they have all taught me something. I can only hope I have given back to them as much as I have taken.

So this is to say "thank you" to my gals--you know who you are. I love you, I appreciate you and I want you to know how lucky I feel to have you in my life. Think of this as an early Valentine you all deserve.