Mmmmmm....Ribs and Beer

This weekend all us heathens in my hometown are celebrating all things beast and barley.  Yesterday after work I and several of my co-workers dutifully headed over to Victoria Park like the good acolytes we are and stood in line to purchase our blue wristbands, mini Pilsner glasses and shiny beer tokens.  We were joined by what appeared to be thousands of other like-minded individuals and proceeded to explore the wonder of hops one 4 ounce glass at a time.

Among my favourite masters of the grain were Flying Monkey, Cameron's (from whom I obtained an "I drink local beer" bumper sticker which I wore proudly for the remainder of the evening) and Stone Hammer whose Maple Ale is arguably the best beer I have ever tasted.  As far as the barbeque part goes, the ribs I had from Camp 31 probably came from a unicorn they were that magical.  "Fall off the bone" doesn't go far enough in explaining how succulent these suckers were--it was like they leapt off the bone and floated effortlessly into my mouth where they proceeded to chew themselves.  And by the way, if you clicked on the link I provided you are now listening to Kid Rock murder "Sweet Home Alabama."  You're welcome.


If you're in the neighbourhood, I strongly suggest checking out Victoria Park this weekend.  Unless you're a vegetarian who doesn't like beer, in which case I suggest checking out the Uptown Waterloo Jazz Festival instead.

P.S.  Camp 31 is located in Paris, Ontario and has arguably the best Southern BBQ I've ever tasted.  You should totally go--I'm looking at you, Meat Club.  It's absolutely worth the drive.  Trust me.

P.P.S.  For those of you who may be wondering how I got my beer-tipsy ass home last night, I took the bus. Incredible, but true.

Heat: The Second Wave

Remember last summer?  The summer of non-stop bitching about how cold it was...?  How unsuitable the weather was to hanging out on the patio drinking beers with your buds or scoping out scantily-clad hotties at the beach...?  Well so far this summer has been a case of "be careful what you wish for."

I should have known something was up back in earlyApril when I was taking pictures of my nieces frolicking in the sunshine in shorts and t-shirts.  That unseasonably warm weather, while very enjoyable at the time, was clearly a harbinger of things to come.

After a brief reprieve from last week's heat wave, today we are faced with the promise of another.  In fact, according to forecasters with Environment Canada, the entire summer will be a seemingly endless cycle of hotter than frickin' hell followed by a couple of days of relief followed by more torture in the furnace.

And that is exactly why I felt justified paying $1000 to fix the AC on my car.  Hey, I'd like to see you in a car with black leather interior an no tint on the windows in 30+ degree heat (that's Celsius for my American readership) and see how long you'd last without AC!  You can't put a price on that, my friend.  When the cool, sweet breezes flow from the vents on my dashboard, I know I made the right decision.

It's a Marshmallow World In the Winter

These videos were taken Saturday around 2pm near Bracebridge, Ontario. Isn't it purty? Apparently about a meter of snow fell over the course of 36 hours. Fortunately only a couple of kilometers were like the nasty driving conditions you can see in the first video--I didn't film the worst of it as I need both hands to drive (good call!). Sadly the trip took about two hours more than it should have due to the highway being closed for an overturned tractor trailer. But overall the driving wasn't bad and with the sun shining out of a bright blue sky I actually enjoyed all the snow. Shocking, I know!

By the way, that's a 4-lane divided highway. It's hard to tell with all that snow...

Downtime

I'm back at home until Thanksgiving (that's the Canadian Thanksgiving to my millions of American readers) and I have mixed feelings about that. I really need to be here--for me and for my sorely neglected cat--but I can't help but feel anxious about leaving my Mom. She seems to be doing well on the outside, but inside they have discovered a new tumour on her chest wall, tumours on her orbital bones and some small tumours in her neck. The tumour in her chest is partially cutting off arterial blood flow to her lungs, which is obviously not good, and the tumours on her orbital bones are pressing against her eyeballs which makes her eyes water and affects her vision. She's probably legally blind at this point; it's that bad. I keep waiting for the phone call that tells me she's taken a turn for the worse and I better get my ass back there.

But for better or for worse, I'm here and trying to make the best of it. My cat has missed me desperately, evidenced by the fact that he won't let me out of his sight. Truth be told, I missed him too. He's a pain in the ass, but he's also warm and cuddly and very reassuring. And he loves me. Almost as much as he loves food.

I've also been thinking a lot about the future, what it might hold and where it will be spent. It's becoming more and more important to me to find a way to be in California with My Honey. There will be a lot to work out, but it's been too long this way and I just can't do it anymore. When Mom is gone, my most compelling reason for staying will be gone too. I have other very good reasons for staying--friends, family, universal healthcare--but weighed against being with the man I love there's no contest. Sorry guys! You'll just have to come visit me in sunny California!

Does My Back Looked Humped in This Outfit?

Canada-hatin' Billy Bob Thornton's recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live continues to add insult to injury by not only allowing Kimmel to mention his (apparently no longer) taboo acting career, but by referring to hard-working bloggers everywere as "humpback geeks."

Fuck you, Billy Bob.

How to Embarrass Yourself in Public Without Really Trying

1: Agree to meet a co-worker for beer after work so you can both enjoy the fabulous patio weather after a long, tiring week and then have said co-worker stand you up so you end up sitting alone on the patio surrounded by people enviously eyeing your table and chairs for their own large groups of happy co-workers who didn't stand them up.

2: Spill an entire pint of beer--a beer you really needed and decided to order anyway even though your co-worker is more than 30 minutes late and is likely not showing up so you'll be sitting there alone with your spilled beer and shredded dignity while sympathetic strangers provide you with paper napkins from their dispenser because for some reason there aren't any at your table.

3: Make sure you say "Shit!" really loudly when you spill the beer because just spilling the beer didn't draw enough attention to your pathetic situation, you had to compound your embarrassment by making sure people two tables away now know you're alone and just spilled your beer.


On the bright side, the weather was fantastic and I didn't get charged for the beer I spilled so I still count last evening as a win. I ordered a burger and graciously allowed a few of the chairs to go to better, more crowded homes and generally enjoyed myself while people-watching the other patrons, sipping my beer and watching the sunset.

Just as I asked for my bill, a couple of women came out onto the patio in search of a table. None were free, so I flagged them down and told them they could pull up a chair if they wanted as I was leaving shortly. They accepted and there were introductions all around. We made small talk and it came out that they belong to a roller derby league and their team is recruiting. Roller derby you say? Hmmm. Intriguing.

Stay tuned!

Billy Bob Thornton is Off His Meds (Again)

Who'd of thunk a little interview on CBC radio would become the talk of the internets?

Someone came of as a dick in this interview and it wasn't the Canadian. Manners triumph over rudeness yet again!

It'll make you squirm, but it's totally worth it. For the squeamish, here's a partial transcript.

Wow. Just...wow.

I Told You I Don't Have a Green Thumb

My "blog flower" is looking a little rough so I guess I should be a good little blogger and post.

I'm feeling quite a bit better today, but I'm still living with chest congestion and a barking cough. I'm glad I'm not singing tonight--it would be less than my best effort for sure--but I am planning on going out to cheer on my co-worker Krystal who's competing tonight. I'm not sure exactly what she's singing but it's sure to be something country. I'm trying to convince Guy to come along with me, but apparently he's finally given into rampant consumerism and he's having cable and high-speed internet installed in his abode today. He thinks the lure of all that access to pop culture might be too much for him to overcome. I'll try plying him with the promise of beer at my expense, but it might not be enough.

I've learned that I have to sing 2 songs, not just one, so my choice of second song has had me thinking this week. I've settled on "Shadows in the Moonlight" by my beloved Anne Murray. I'm hoping some Canadian content will sway the judging in my favour--whatever helps--but mostly I picked it because Anne and I have the same range (low and limited) and it's one of her more up-tempo songs which should play to the crowd well. Whatever. I don't even know anymore, I just want to get it over with. This is too much pressure!

Merry Christmas, Dog Lovers

It almost makes me forget I hate snow:


http://maniacworld.com/dog-having-a-blast-in-the-snow.html

My, What a Long Sword You Have!

He's shiny, he's bald and he's naked. That's right, folks--he's Oscar and tonight he'll go home with the lucky men and women chosen by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

I don't generally get very excited by the Oscar's. I usually tune in for the first hour or so, hoping to see some train wrecks of the fashion and acceptance speech persuasion. This year is different; I'm watching to see the fate of my Canadian Girls--Sara Polley and Ellen Page.

Although, I'll be really disappointed if there aren't any spectacles...

Something tells me I'll come away satisfied.